Alright, JPMorgan's back at it again, huh? Slapping a $240,000 price target on Bitcoin. Give me a break. It's like they think we've all got amnesia from the last crypto winter. Remember when everyone was screaming "to the moon"? Yeah, I remember bagholders crying into their ramen.
The Macro Mirage
They're saying crypto is "behaving like a macro asset" now. Oh, really? So, it's not the halving cycle pumping prices anymore? It's *macroeconomics*? That's convenient. Makes it sound all grown-up and respectable, doesn’t it? Like Bitcoin suddenly got a suit and tie and started reading the Wall Street Journal.
"Crypto is moving away from resembling a venture capital style ecosystem to a typical tradable macro asset class supported by institutional liquidity rather than retail speculation," JPMorgan says.
Translation: "The little guys got rekt, so now we need the big boys to pump our bags."
And what's this about institutional investors "stabilizing flows"? Please. These are the same guys who caused the 2008 financial crisis. You think they're suddenly beacons of stability? I've got oceanfront property in Kansas to sell you.
Speaking of things that make me want to scream... my internet provider. They throttle my connection every time I try to stream a goddamn hockey game. It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy to keep me from seeing the Flyers win the Stanley Cup. Which, offcourse, isn't likely to happen anytime soon, anyway.
$16 Billion Options Expiry? Sounds Like a Rigged Game
Options Expiry: A Casino by Another Name
Then there's this options expiry nonsense. $16 billion on the line? It's just gambling with extra steps. "Max pain point," "put-to-call ratio"... it's all just fancy jargon for "we're trying to predict the unpredictable."
Bitcoin & Ethereum Brace for $15 Billion November Options Expiry
Deribit analysts are saying traders who were long puts took profit when Bitcoin hit $81,000 to $82,000. Good for them, I guess? Meanwhile, some "aggressive" traders are betting on a Santa rally to $100,000+. Bless their hearts.
But wait, are we really supposed to believe ANY of these analysts? They get paid to have opinions, not to be right. And honestly, most of them are probably just regurgitating whatever their bosses tell them to say. It's all a game.
Crypto Adoption: Familiarity vs. Actual Use?
The Adoption Delusion
Oh, and let's not forget the "crypto adoption" narrative. Two out of three Americans are "familiar" with crypto? So what? I'm familiar with brain surgery, doesn't mean I'm about to crack open someone's skull.
"28 percent of American adults, or as many as 65.7 million people, own cryptocurrency in the U.S. today, rising from just 15 percent in 2021."
Okay, that's a decent jump. But what are they owning? Dogecoin? Shiba Inu? Just because people are buying doesn't mean they understand what they're buying. Most of 'em are probably just chasing the next get-rich-quick scheme. Which, let's be real, ain't gonna happen.
And the whole "men are overrepresented" thing? No sh*t, Sherlock. Crypto is just another boys' club.
So, What's the Real Story?
JPMorgan can slap whatever price target they want on Bitcoin. Doesn't mean it's gonna happen. Doesn't mean it's based on anything other than wishful thinking and a desperate attempt to stay relevant. It's all smoke and mirrors, people. Wake up.
